Childhood Anxiety Often Goes Undetected. Here’s How to Identify It

As parents, we are fortunate to be front and center to observe the many milestones our children celebrate. While first steps and budding vocabularies are glorious to witness, occasional fussiness and clinginess also come with the territory. But what happens when that fussiness seems persistent, those worries become overwhelming, or that clinginess starts interfering with daily life? It might be more than just a phase, but it could be anxiety. 

It may be surprising to think that a sweet, innocent child can struggle with anxiety, but the truth is that young children can and do experience it. Recognizing the signs of childhood anxiety early can make a world of difference for their development. But what does anxiety actually look like in our little ones? It often presents differently than it does in adults, which can make it tricky to spot.

How Anxiety Can Show Up in Young Children

Anxiety in young children can manifest in a variety of ways, often through behaviors that might seem unrelated to worry. Here are some things to look out for:

• Increased Clinginess: While a bit of “Velcro-child” behavior is normal, persistent and excessive clinging to caregivers, even in familiar situations, can be a sign of separation anxiety or general unease. They might have difficulty being left at daycare, with grandparents, or even in another room.
• Frequent Physical Complaints: Tummy aches, headaches, and other vague physical symptoms can be a way for young children to express their distress, especially when they lack the verbal skills to articulate their worries.
• Sleep Disturbances: Difficulty falling asleep, frequent nightmares, or waking up during the night feeling scared can be linked to underlying anxiety.
• Increased Irritability or Meltdowns: While tantrums are a normal part of toddlerhood, unusually frequent, intense, or prolonged meltdowns, especially when triggered by seemingly small things or changes in routine, could signal anxiety.
• Avoidance of Certain Situations: A child who suddenly becomes very resistant to activities they once enjoyed, like playing with friends, going to new places, or participating in group activities, might be experiencing social anxiety or fear of the unknown.
• Seeking Constant Reassurance: Repeatedly asking, “Are you sure?” or needing constant validation can be a sign of worry and a need for security.
• Regression in Development: Suddenly reverting to earlier behaviors like thumb-sucking, bedwetting, or baby talk can be a sign that a child is feeling overwhelmed or insecure.
• Fears and Worries: While all children have fears, persistent and intense fears that interfere with daily life (e.g., extreme fear of the dark, animals, or imaginary creatures) can indicate anxiety.
• Changes in Appetite: Noticeable increases or decreases in eating habits could be linked to emotional distress.

When to Seek Help for Your Child’s Anxiety

Keep in mind that all children will sometimes exhibit anxious behaviors. The key is to be on the lookout for patterns. How intense are the behaviors they are exhibiting? Are they impacting the child’s daily life, development, and overall well-being? 

Here are some indicators that it might be time to seek professional help:

• Symptoms are Persistent and Frequent: If the anxious behaviors aren’t isolated events and happen regularly over several weeks or months.
• Symptoms are Intense and Disruptive: If the anxiety is causing significant distress for your child or disrupting their ability to participate in normal activities like school, playdates, or family outings.
• Symptoms are Interfering with Development: If anxiety is preventing your child from reaching developmental milestones, forming healthy relationships, or learning new skills.
• You’ve Tried Strategies at Home Without Improvement: If you’ve implemented consistent and supportive strategies to address your child’s worries, but their anxiety doesn’t seem to be improving.
• You Have Concerns About Your Child’s Safety or Well-being: If your child’s anxiety is leading to self-harming behaviors or expressing thoughts of wanting to hurt themselves or others (though this is less common in very young children, it’s crucial to take it seriously).
• Your Gut Feeling Tells You Something Isn’t Right: Parents often have strong intuitions about their children. If you’re consistently worried, trust your instincts and seek professional guidance.

Who Can Help Childhood Anxiety?

Your child’s pediatric provider is a great first point of contact. They can assess your child’s overall health and development and provide referrals to mental health professionals specializing in children. These professionals might include:

• Child Psychologists: They can provide therapy and psychological assessments.
• Child Psychiatrists: They are medical doctors who can diagnose and treat mental health conditions, including prescribing medication if necessary.
• Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW) or Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC) with a focus on children: They can provide therapy and support.

You Are Not Alone

We know you want the very best for your child and their happiness is a top priority. Navigating childhood anxiety can feel overwhelming, but remember that you are not alone, and help is available. Trust your instincts, observe your child with compassion, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed.